Daddy
Daddy is the story of psychologist Tim Lewis’ trauma, substance abuse, and lifelong dedication to PTSD research, but it also turns out to be the story of America and the cycle of abuse and trauma that its endless wars create in American households and around the world.
When Tim was twenty-eight years old, his father shot his mother while she was sleeping in his childhood bedroom. His father then turned the gun on himself.
As Tim sat in the hospital room while his mother was pronounced dead, his friends and family seemed to have only one question for him: “How could this happen?” This book is his attempt at an answer.
Central to the book is the question of personal responsibility in the perpetration of domestic abuse and other forms of violence—including war.
What happens to a person as they experience trauma?
Are they in control as they are being traumatized?
When the trauma cycle results in them being abusive later in life, are they fully in control then?
How come some victims become abusers and others don’t?
There are no easy answers to these questions, but in Daddy, Dr. Lewis explores possible conclusions through the history of his own trauma, his father’s upbringing and time-fighting in World War II, the United States’ troubling past of slavery, misogyny, war, and systemic oppression, and the varied definitions of PTSD and conceptions of childhood trauma.
Betty White also makes an appearance.
How many of us are fighting someone else’s war?
Dr. Lewis' father returned from WWII to get married, start a family, build a family home, and generally fulfill the American dream. Why did he take it all away? Was he fully in control of his actions?
The Founding Fathers who signed the Declaration of Independence assuring that “all men are created equal” were also men who beat and enslaved human beings. If we can for a moment see our whole nation as a single person whose guiding principle is this document, what does it mean for our founding principles to be so rife with delusion and cognitive dissonance? In what way is our culture itself traumatized and forever oscillating back and forth—like a traumatized person presenting Borderline Personality Disorder—between victim and perpetrator?
Finally, through therapy, meditation, education, and radical acceptance, can PTSD, Borderline Personality Disorder, and other issues related to trauma be cured for good? Can we help ourselves and those in our lives to leave their pasts behind and re-emerge as more caring, more present, and less troubled individuals?
About the Author
Tim Lewis, Psy.D received his doctorate from the Wright Institute in Berkeley, California, in 2009. He is a licensed clinical psychologist practicing in San Francisco. Dr. Lewis also holds a B.A. in English and American literature from the University of Miami, Florida.
Having undergone a number of traumatic experiences in his own life, Dr. Lewis is particularly focused on issues related to men’s health and the treatment of trauma and PTSD. His personal and professional goal is to help people overcome life-altering experiences so that they might develop purpose-driven, fulfilling lives. Dr. Lewis shares his life with his husband, Steve, their 11-year-old daughter, Gemma, and their cat of extraordinary character, Elsa. This is his first book.